Ramen Power!

The only thing worse than taking care of a former colleague is taking care of a former colleague and contracting his gastroenteritis. DKV needs to work on his hand washing! Or it could have been from DHV shoving his dirty hands into every orifice like a crazy trauma intern.
Ramen is just the thing to replenish one's sodium and glycogen stores after 36 hours of not eating. Here DHV demonstrated the two most widely-described techniques for ramen ingestion.
This is the two step chopstick dangle followed by hand-ram. Slow and messy, purely for beginners.
DHV moved onto the single-step head-tilt, maw gape technique. Little or no chewing is required.

Thanksgiving means Turkey-Flavored Oral Rehydration

A first!
DHV took a nap in his mother's arms today.Unfortunately, this was deliberately, directly, proximately, and negligently caused by a full-blown case of gastroenteritis. DHV vomited his milk shortly after this photo was taken. To avoid the appearance of discrimination, he gave Pedialyte the same treatment shortly afterwards.

Outside our vomit covered house, it's foggy and the leaves are in full effect.Happy Thanksgiving!

Ambulatory Haddonfield

DHV is embracing the world of the upright walker! In this extended, uncut special release, you can watch him explore Haddonfield and experience its inhabitants.


You can see that he's not using as much Frankenstein style these days.
DHV also showed off his burgeoning fork skills (mad skilz for you Westside hipsters) in H-field.
Back in the Nu Haven he got stuck under our couch.

Waterboarding

HusbandKV paid a king's ransom for the privilege of taking his board exams today. He's already bitter about the double handfuls of doubloons he's paid out for three prior rounds of useless, medically irrelevant board exams. All this boarding seems like low-grade torture. In protest, he cut his hair Taxi Driver-style.
In other news, John Destefano was re-elected for the 23rd time, and one of his flunkies put a campaign sign on our yard. The mayor can't get our recycling picked up, but he can get his name on our house.

Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Home Invader

We woke up on All Saints Day to find a strange black cat in our dining room. Yikes!
We called Encyclopedia Brown in to investigate.
"This panther is actually quite docile. What are you two freaking out about?"
"I have it cornered! Watson, fetch me some cat food. I think Sir Pete is ready for roasting - pumpkin seeds for everyone!"
"I'll snatch a sample of hair for DNA testing. I've been practicing my technique for months on Mommy.""Let the panther go, Watson; your camera skills are no match for this beast." It turns out this cat (Julio) belonged to the former owners of our house, and had been staying with his grandparents about a 1/2 mile away. He snuck in when Susannah was taking out some garbage early in the morning. He meowed on our stoop for 2 nights before we captured him and returned him to his proper owners. We got the sense that they were in big trouble.

Halloween

The Prince of Autumn greeted Halloween with a suit of white and black.
"Sir Pete, Sir Arthur, get off your gourds and protect me from the paparazzi!"The Royal Cow walking on his hind legs.The Royal Cow relaxing on the couch during story time."Mmmm, the candy you tithe me is good. Come, let our band of merry marauders hit the streets of Westville. My soothsayer tells me the proletariat gives away such bounty on only this day!"The Prince deigning to snuggle his pack mule.We actually saw no children trick-or-treating at 430pm on Halloween. We'll need to figure this out before we go out for real, like Vikings with pillow cases of plunder.

All Hallow's Eve

After de-leafing the yard, Prince of Autumn DHV ordered us to the tarpaulin for pumpkin carving.
"All hands to the pumpkins, my swarthies, lest the House of Hawk be without its guardian glowing gargoyles!"
"Standfast my bespectacled friend, I think I spy this poor creatures brain! Abandon all hope, ye pumpkin, as my royal ladle dips into yon cerebral cortex!"DHV knighted them . . .
"I name you, Sir Peter, He of Snarky Humor and Furious Yoga; and you, Sir Arthur, He of Biceps Most Grandest and Hair Most Longest!"